Homecoming
by Suzotchka
Summary: An alternative post-Endgame story. Captain Janeway suffers the consequences of Admiral Janeway's actions.


Homecoming

Chapter 1

Author's Note: I own nothing but the plot. I plan for this to be a longer piece. There is something in this chapter, which if read in the wrong light, might appear to imply child abuse. However, it is not meant to and I have decided to leave it in because it is part of an overarching concept I am trying to develop- namely a May/December relationship that isn't as awful as Seven/Chakotay. I am doing this by demonstrating the characters' emotional maturity and the physical distance between them until both are past forty.

There must have been more than 1000 people in the room, the largest ball room in Starfleet Headquarters, but Kathryn had never felt more alone. Already the pain was starting to settle into her bones. She sighed and looked around her. It should have been her dream come true. Voyager was home, welcomed and feted. Her crew pardoned, promoted and commended. All her crew received back pay and commendations and Starfleet's assurances that they could continue to have bright careers. Voyager was resting in orbit. Her adaptions and upgrades, while studied, would remain intact.

Starfleet had decided as both an honor to Voyager and her first captain that Kathryn, although now an Admiral, would remain Voyager's Master and Commander and upon her death Voyager would be decommissioned. She was as glad of that as she was to hear that the Maquis and Tom would go free. Her feelings for Voyager ran as deep as her love for any of her crew. Her faithful ship who had carried them 75,000 light years, through Borg attacks and Kazon space and supernovas and haunted nebulas. It was more than she could bear to think of Voyager in the hands of another captain, abused until she was used for scrap metal.

It made everything worth it- it is worth it, she told herself sternly, leaning discretely against the wall. Around her, her entire crew and their families were celebrating Voyager's return. Her own mother, sister Phoebe and Phoebe's family sat around one of the elegant dinner tables. Seven and Chakotay were in a table in the middle of the room with his sister Sekaya and her family, Seven's Aunt Irene and cousins. They sat so boldly in the middle of the crew, so unashamed and for the first time in seven years, Kathryn let herself think about Chakotay and admitted to herself that she had always thought he would be there when they got home. She was relieved she had held herself apart from him now, she was glad that for the last seven years, she had had no time to fall in love and was hurt only because she cared for him deeply, thought she might grown to love him. Because Seven was like her daughter, even if he came after her and professed his love, she would never be able to reciprocate.

After Voyager had returned, Starfleet had quickly gathered the families of her crew, offered housing to the crew and any of their families not based on earth. In the last two days everyone had been settled in. Today, the crew, their families, the brass and media had gathered, as Voyager's crew was promoted, commended and celebrated. She herself had been promoted past rear admiral to vice admiral- a rare move. Starfleet was beyond impressed with her. It wasn't enough that she was the top student in her year at the Academy, that she finished three doctorates in three years, that she performed innovative, advanced work as a science officer at a speed that astounded her superiors, rose quickly through the ranks, served as a chief engineer, and became the second youngest captain in Starfleet history. It wasn't enough that at Wolf 359, when Starfleet was falling into chaos she was one of the only captains to bring her ship through the battle. She had defied the odds with Voyager and beyond their awe of her, Starfleet did not want to trifle with her.

She rested her back against the wall. She had always had an injury there, from back at the academy. Her years of hard service had made it ache constantly, but since Unimatrix Zero, it was growing unbearable. The partial assimilation had included an awful clamp that had crushed six inches of her spinal column in the small of her back. The doctor had removed it, and attempted to restructure her bones from the pulverized dust left. Even with 24th century medical advances and the Doctor's remarkable skill, at best he been able to puzzle together the spinal column. It was fragile, broken and barely staying together and the pain had made the last year miserable. Between the difficulties of the year and her pain, she had been increasingly withdrawn and she knew it was one of the reasons her friendship with Chakotay had fallen apart recently.

Well, she had better get used to it. Although she could hide her discomfort from her crew, Admiral Janeway had made her appear like a whining child under her erect structure. From what the Admiral had let her know, she had decades of increasing pain to get used to. She had followed Admiral Janeway's plan to save her crew, Seven, Tuvok and twenty-two more, but she was sacrificing herself. She wondered how long until the symptoms appeared. Admiral Janeway had been brave in the face of the pain, but she had run into a Delta Quadrant species that had provided a regime that had helped the symptoms somewhat. She wondered how she would manage without that benefit now that that possibility was gone.

Two tables away Admiral Owen Paris sat with his son, daughter in law, new granddaughter and their best friend the newly promoted Lieutenant Kim and his parents. As much as he was enjoying the company, and as excited as he was, he couldn't help but be drawn to the woman in blue. He had known her as a child as a friend of Edward Janeway. What he held felt for her then had scared him, the gentle love one has for a soulmate was not appropriate for a grown man to direct towards a four year old child, not matter how intelligent or beautiful the child was. He would never forget when she was four, he had gone to Edward's home to work on a project. When he had gone into the study he had been shocked by the sight of a doll like delicate bones beauty with an angelic face and clear intelligent blue eyes and a wave of auburn hair in a light blue frock and Mary Janes sitting under her father's desk studying the Pythagorean Theorem. When their eyes had met, he had almost fallen back. Edward had introduced her with pride. Clearly following her father's expectations, the child had risen and with adult presence shook his hand at her father's introduction and an adorable yet adult "How do you do Sir?"

Knowing he should not dwell any further, he had made sure to keep his and Edward's work in a professional atmosphere and made sure he never came across Kathryn again. He married Julia, a teacher with two daughters, and they had their own son Tom. Although he heard of her brilliance often, her early graduation from Starfleet Prep as valedictorian, her discovery of potential choatic life on Mars before Academy and her instructors, many of them colleagues of his, found her among the most brilliant students they had ever had, if not the most brilliant. He was shocked when Nicole announced that that Admiral Janeway's daughter wanted a meeting. He had schooled his features and nonchalantly picked a date a month later.

The day Kathryn was due to meet him, he was barely able to keep himself together. Although he had cleared his afternoon, he was deliberately nearly half an hour. She was sitting erect in her cadet's uniform, her hair perfectly coiled. She was only nineteen years old, young for a junior, but at the end of her teenage years, the woman she would become was clearly visible. She was achingly beautiful, her eyes showing her brilliance. When she saw him, she snapped to attention perfectly, sharp, but not choppy. He quickly called her to ease.

She succinctly presented her case, an idea beyond what he could have expected of a PhD in Stellar Phenomenon. It was truly a paper that could revolutionize the field. But she was young, and he really should stay away. He suggested she return next year. She shocked him with her reply that he should read her work first. He knew it would be brilliant work in his field that would advance both her prestige as well as his own. He inquired after Edward, but found her unwilling to share beyond rhetoric. He gruffly ordered her to have her proposal in two days, a near impossible schedule. Her composure was enviable for her a person of her age. She snapped to attention again and left. Two days later, he had arrived to find an impeccably written, sound in theory yet revolutionary.

He went over to her now. She was still achingly beautiful. She looked at him and smiled. There was a weariness coming off of her. He put his hand on the small of her back and to his surprise, she leaned into it slightly and for the briefest second her eyes closed. He held out his other arm for her to take and escorted her to the side.


End file.
